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Nicholas E Jones

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Category Archives: Humour

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Kangaroo

Posted on December 18, 2016 by Nicholas E Jones
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Pretend you’re a kangaroo by sticking a photo of your child out of the top of your pants.

Posted in Humour | Tagged Humor, Humour, Kangaroo | Leave a reply

Antiperspirant

Posted on July 9, 2015 by Nicholas E Jones
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Just used the last of the antiperspirant spray. Roll on tomorrow.

Posted in Humour | Tagged antiperspirant, Humor, Humour | Leave a reply

Punctuation 

Posted on July 5, 2015 by Nicholas E Jones
2

People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

Posted in Humour | Tagged Humor, Humour, Punctuation | 2 Replies

Queen

Posted on June 1, 2013 by Nicholas E Jones
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I’m wondering if the queen pulls the duvet up so you can only see her head, then says “Look Philip i’m a stamp!”.

Posted in Humour | Tagged Humor, Humour, Queen, stamps | Leave a reply

Bull

Posted on May 13, 2013 by Nicholas E Jones
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I saw a bull charging in the field yesterday.

I didn’t even know they used electricity

Posted in Funny, Humour | Tagged Bull, Funny, Humour | Leave a reply

Charles Darwin

Posted on May 12, 2013 by Nicholas E Jones
1

Charles Darwin wrote a paper about a classmate who wet herself because she was scared of toilets. He called it The Theory of Eva Loo Shun.

Posted in Funny, Humour | Tagged Charles Darwin, Funny, Humour | 1 Reply

Nuts

Posted on May 11, 2013 by Nicholas E Jones
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I’ve put a little sign on my bird-feeder saying “Warning! May contain nuts” in case any of them have allergies.

Posted in Funny, Humour | Tagged Funny, Humour | Leave a reply

Robbery

Posted on May 10, 2013 by Nicholas E Jones
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I was the getaway driver for a robbery at a paper factory in Bristol last night.

We took the A4.

Posted in Funny, Humour | Tagged Funny, Humour | Leave a reply

Bagpipes

Posted on May 9, 2013 by Nicholas E Jones
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At certain funerals it’s traditional to play the bagpipes, but only if you’ve been invited, apparently.

Posted in Funny, Humour | Tagged Funny, Humour | Leave a reply

Farmer

Posted on May 8, 2013 by Nicholas E Jones
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I’ve written a novel for frustrated farmers wives.

It’s called ’50 Sheds of Hay’.

Posted in Funny, Humour | Tagged farmers, Funny, Humour | Leave a reply

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