Don’t you just hate it when people pour your cereal. They don’t know how much I want. They don’t know my life. They don’t know what I’ve been through.
Enter a greengrocer’s. Pick up a parsnip and approach the counter. Ask “Excuse me, do you have these in orange?”.
After having them for six years and not being involved in any violent conflict, I’ve decided to rename my combat trousers just ‘trousers’.
Thought I saw Van Morrison go past my window this morning.
Turns out it was just a Morrisons van reversing.
Just reminded my boss that Movember has finished. She’s not impressed.