The collective noun for bison is herd, unless they are on tiptoes, in which case they are unherd.
Monthly Archives: May 2013
Squirrels
I keep telling everyone squirrels just won’t stop attacking and biting me.
They probably think I’m nuts.
t-shirts
I’ve heard the man stealing t-shirts in order of size is still at large.
Hummingbirds
Hummingbirds are just regular birds that can’t remember the lyrics.
Petty
I was walking down the road when a man threw a small tin of cash at me. “That’s petty” I thought..
Pornography
You know you’re middle aged when your shed starts filling up with power tools instead of pornography.
Shoes
I had an argument with someone today, to put their point across they threw a pair of orthopaedic shoes at me. I now stand corrected.
Psychics
Psychics. Convince someone you’re channeling their dead grandmother by spitting on a handkerchief and trying to wipe their face.
Dan Brown
If you suddenly rearrange the ancient words in this mysterious quote you can make your very own Dan Brown novel.
Ikea
Quote
Bought a lamp stand from IKEA. Assistant asked, ‘If I was putting it up myself’ I said “No, I’m putting it in my lounge’