I love bees. Bees are great. I am definitely not being forced to write this by a huge bee that’s flown in.

I put my mobile phone in a big sea shell so I can use it whilst driving, If the police see me they’ll just think I’m listening to the sea.

I found the police activity at my local polling station totally unnecessary. Show me where it says I can’t vote naked.

Do I have insomnia or amnesia? Was up all night thinking about it, but I’ve forgotten which is which.