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Monthly Archives: June 2012

Rooney

Posted on June 30, 2012 by Nicholas E Jones
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FOOTBALL TIP: You can create your own Wayne Rooney action figure by coating a potato in glue and rolling it across a barber shop floor.

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Fish

Posted on June 28, 2012 by Nicholas E Jones
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Last night I dreamt that I was a fish. Woke up gutted.

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Uncle

Posted on June 27, 2012 by Nicholas E Jones
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I remember the year my uncle went to prison for forgery. It was around the same time I stopped getting birthday cards from Pamela Anderson.

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Nipples

Posted on June 16, 2012 by Nicholas E Jones
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On the bus. Woman with a baby said ‘Do you mind if I breast feed’ I said ‘No, but don’t suck my nipple too hard’

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Clothes

Posted on June 10, 2012 by Nicholas E Jones
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Mrs Jones asked me what the pile of clothes is doing on the bedroom floor – Told her it’s a dead Jedi

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Shakespear

Posted on June 2, 2012 by Nicholas E Jones
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A man walks into a library and says to the librarian “Excuse me, I’m after a book by Shakespeare.” “Which one?”, she replies. “William.”

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Sandwich

Posted on June 1, 2012 by Nicholas E Jones
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Tramp asked me for 50p for a sandwich. I said – Let’s see the sandwich first

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