My Grandad was a steam train enthusiast… in fact, he once got stuck in the engine of one… he was chuffed to bits.
I had an argument with someone today, to put their point across they threw a pair of orthopaedic shoes at me. I now stand corrected.
If you suddenly rearrange the ancient words in this mysterious quote you can make your very own Dan Brown novel.
Apparently David Hasslehoff is changing his name to just David Hoff.
He cant be bothered with the hassle.
I saw a bull charging in the field yesterday.
I didn’t even know they used electricity
Charles Darwin wrote a paper about a classmate who wet herself because she was scared of toilets. He called it The Theory of Eva Loo Shun.
I’ve put a little sign on my bird-feeder saying “Warning! May contain nuts” in case any of them have allergies.
I was the getaway driver for a robbery at a paper factory in Bristol last night.
We took the A4.
At certain funerals it’s traditional to play the bagpipes, but only if you’ve been invited, apparently.
I’ve written a novel for frustrated farmers wives.
It’s called ’50 Sheds of Hay’.