West Mersea police want to interview a man wearing high heels and frilly knickers, but have been told they must wear their uniforms

Sad news! Our local Muslim optician died today. Asif Eyecare.

Archaeologists have dug up a book called ‘Irish Dancing Part 2’ – ‘What to do with your arms’

Rocket has taken off from Beijing carrying chocolate bars – I think it’s just Chinese Wispas

Sepp Blatter’s kids defend their father’ “He’s totally against racism in football”, exclaimed Klu, Klux and Klan

On holiday recently in Spain I saw a sign that said ‘English speaking Doctor’ – I thought, ‘What a good idea, why don’t we have them in our country?’

Fell asleep at the wheel – What a mess…Clay everywhere

I think the word ‘cliche’ is being used far too often & has become meaningless

I forget the names of mountains – Think I’ve got Alpsheimers

I just bought a Rick Astley alarm clock, it’s never gonna get me up…