Russian computer: “Enter password”
Me: “Beef stew”
Russian computer: “Password not stroganoff”
Russian Computers
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Benylin
I see the inventor of Benylin has died.
I assume there’ll be no coffin at his funeral.
Star Wars
Which one of the following doesn’t sound like a Star Wars character?
•Darth Vadar
•Obi Wan Kenobi
•Barack Obama
•Boba Fett
•Han Solo
•Dave
Crosswords
The man who invented crosswords has died, his wife has said that he wouldn’t want us to get 2 down…
Grandparents
It’s actually illegal to be a grandparent if you don’t have a barometer somewhere in your house
Gherkins
Wife: Can you open this jar of gherkins?
Me: Of course. ‘opens jar of gherkins’ There you go.
Wife: Thanks.
And so the seduction begins.
Moustache
The word ‘moustache’ comes from the French word ‘moustache’ meaning ‘moustache’.
Defibrillators
Defibrillators repulse me.
Spiders
How to deal with a spider –
1) Get a glass & bit of paper
2) Put glass over spider
3) Slide paper under glass
4) Move house.
Wrestlers
Just found a wrestler in the toilets.
Threw me a bit.
Nicholas E Jones 