I’m quite sore after last night’s curry. I told my friend and he said ‘ring sting?’. Anyway, I called him. He wasn’t remotely interested.
Pheasant farmers need to raise their game.
Just used the last of the antiperspirant spray. Roll on tomorrow.
People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.
I’m completely over my fear of touching rocks.
Well, I’m feeling a little boulder.
The word ‘wasp’ derives from the Latin word ‘vespula germanica’, meaning ‘bum sword’.
I have named my two mallards Homer and Hesiod, I’m not sure what religion they are but I think they’re Greek author ducks.
I had a dream last night that I was drowning in a huge seafood chowder. It was really horrible. I woke up all clammy.
1. Go to the vets
2. Tell them your fish is poorly
3. Put a fish finger on the examining table
4. Do a sad face
All piano tuners are blind? Just checking, because I have a feeling the one who’s here knows I’m naked.