Enter a greengrocer’s. Pick up a parsnip and approach the counter. Ask “Excuse me, do you have these in orange?”.
Parsnip
Reply
Category Archives: Funny
Combat Trousers
After having them for six years and not being involved in any violent conflict, I’ve decided to rename my combat trousers just ‘trousers’.
Van Morrison
Thought I saw Van Morrison go past my window this morning.
Turns out it was just a Morrisons van reversing.
Embarrassing.
Movember
Just reminded my boss that Movember has finished. She’s not impressed.
kung fu fighting
Statistically speaking, not everybody could have been kung fu fighting.
Some people must have been making a casserole or darning a sock.
Dog
My pet peeve is when a blind person sits next to you on the train and their dog tries to read your newspaper.
Soup
At McDonald’s:
“I’ll have a cheeseburger with no soup.”
“We don’t have soup.”
“Good. I said I didn’t want any.”
Jesus
It’s amazing to think if Jesus was alive today he’d be 2013 – the same as the year!
Fun things to do
Fun things to do #1 if you’re in a cubicle and you hear someone else enter the toilets, loudly whisper ‘Mum? Is that you? I’ve done one.
Pregnancy
One time i thought i was pregnant for like five years but it turned out i just eat way too much pizza and also i’m biologically incapable.
Nicholas E Jones 