There’s no point to safety scissors.
Scissors
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Category Archives: Funny
Sweetcorn
It’s weird how sweet corn maintains its original shape after you poo.
But tastes totally different afterwards.
Mineral Water
Why does mineral water that has “trickled through mountains for centuries” go out of date next year?
My Birthday
My mum asked me to hand out invitations for my brother’s surprise birthday party.
That’s when I realised he was the favourite twin.
Successful
If your aim in life is to be unsuccessful and you are unsuccessful…… doesn’t that make you successful?
Allotment
Someone keeps adding soil to my allotment overnight. It’s an absolute mystery as to why though.
The plot thickens…
The Worst Pub
The worst pub I’ve ever been to was called The Fiddle.
It really was a vile inn.
Pet Wasp
It’s hard work teaching your pet wasp to dance. I’m beginning to suspect Bruce still doesn’t even realise he’s a pet.
London landmark
I asked Sean Connery what’s his favourite London landmark. He said, “Shard.” I said, “I know mate, so many, but give it a go.”
Breakfast Cereal
Don’t you just hate it when people pour your cereal. They don’t know how much I want. They don’t know my life. They don’t know what I’ve been through.
Nicholas E Jones 