Pheasant farmers need to raise their game.
I’m completely over my fear of touching rocks.
Well, I’m feeling a little boulder.
The word ‘wasp’ derives from the Latin word ‘vespula germanica’, meaning ‘bum sword’.
I have named my two mallards Homer and Hesiod, I’m not sure what religion they are but I think they’re Greek author ducks.
I had a dream last night that I was drowning in a huge seafood chowder. It was really horrible. I woke up all clammy.
1. Go to the vets
2. Tell them your fish is poorly
3. Put a fish finger on the examining table
4. Do a sad face
All piano tuners are blind? Just checking, because I have a feeling the one who’s here knows I’m naked.
Russian computer: “Enter password”
Me: “Beef stew”
Russian computer: “Password not stroganoff”
I see the inventor of Benylin has died.
I assume there’ll be no coffin at his funeral.
Which one of the following doesn’t sound like a Star Wars character?
•Obi Wan Kenobi