Just saw an Onion ring, So I answered it.

My wife’s almost finished knitting me a Willy Warmer, It shouldn’t be long

1978 -1st computer spam was sent. To get a bigger penis in the past you had to do it the traditional way.-rubbing it or thinking about boobs

Right, that’s the Royal Wedding done. Now I’ve just got time to get my suit dry cleaned before Prince Phillip’s funeral.

Shout Ahhhhh! in a library everyone stares at you. Do it on a plane & everyone joins in

I have Alzheimers…… Well at least I don’t have Alzheimers ..

Sometimes I wear camouflage trousers & a light blue T-Shirt so as I can hide on the horizon

Would rather have Parkinsons than Alzheimer’s because I’d rather spill my beer a little than completely forget where I put it!

A man has been jailed for chewing off his friend’s ear. I was expecting a pardon.

Mates new baby boy. Asked me if I’d like to wind him. Thought that’s a bit much. Gave him a dead leg instead