I love how people say they’re “expecting” a baby, as though it might be something else, like a penguin.
Baby
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Author Archives: Nicholas E Jones
Giraffe
The worst part about being a giraffe is having a lot of time to think about your mistakes when you’re sinking into quicksand.
Checkouts
I am in favour of trapdoors that open up beneath people who take longer than 15 seconds to move on after paying for something at a checkout.
Tennis
My wife caught me off guard and asked me to tell her a Tennis joke
I said “Sorry, Tennis innuendos simply aren’t my forte – love”
Kate & Will
I really hope Kate and Wills have a little boy and call him Prawn.. would be awesome to have a King Prawn on the throne.
Rescue Cat
Be careful if you’re thinking of getting a rescue cat. My nan had one. She slipped and fell one day and the cat literally sat doing nothing.
Acronym
I wonder what the American Confederate Republic of Nautical Yacht Makers uses as its acronym?
Honda Jazz
The Government have unveiled plans to reduce the age at which it is compulsory to buy a metallic blue Honda Jazz from 70 to 65.
Cooking Nude
Never try cooking in the nude like I once did.
Not only did the chip fat splash all over my privates, it also cost me my job at McDonalds.
Fart
That awkward moment when your chair makes a noise like a fart, so you try to do it again to show you didn’t fart but then accidentally fart.
Nicholas E Jones 