I told my cat this morning i was going teach him to speak English he looked at me & said
“Me? How?”
Cat
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Author Archives: Nicholas E Jones
Microwave
It’s the final of the UK Microwave Challenge tonight.
Things could get heated.
Crap
Cheap loo paper makes you feel crap!
Supermarket
No matter how much I try and buy supermarket conveyor belt dividers, the cashier keeps on putting them back!
Autopsy
I’ve been invited to attend an autopsy. Not sure if I’ll go or not. Remains to be seen.
Chinchilla
My friend recently bought a chinchilla. Personally I’ve never felt the need to adjust the temperature of my chin, but each to their own.
Rebekah Brooks
Rebekah Brooks’ hairdresser has admitted charges of hacking,
Work
I’m wearing just a short sleeved shirt to work for the first time this year. Think I might have been a bit ambitious. My genitals are really cold.
Flash Flood
Convince everyone in your street they slept through a flash flood by going out at night and leaving fish on top of their cars.
Making Love
Making love is like riding a bicycle. Especially if your partner is inflatable and they get a puncture.
Nicholas E Jones 