The Government have unveiled plans to reduce the age at which it is compulsory to buy a metallic blue Honda Jazz from 70 to 65.
Never try cooking in the nude like I once did.
Not only did the chip fat splash all over my privates, it also cost me my job at McDonalds.
That awkward moment when your chair makes a noise like a fart, so you try to do it again to show you didn’t fart but then accidentally fart.
It doesn’t matter how old you are, you know you still haven’t grown up yet when a duck quacks at you and you quack back.
Men you can Impress the ladies and make them think you can run at immense speeds by gluing lots of little flies to your face.
Fool the window cleaner into thinking he’s got no clothes on by standing naked on the other side of the glass and copying him.
Apparently ‘a quick round the table before the meeting’ just means introductions. I felt a bit silly when I sat back down all out of breath.